What's Wrong With Me??
11:29 p.m. on Wednesday, Feb. 26, 2003

Look, twice in one day. Ain't it something.

I seriously, seriously, seriously think there's something wrong with me. I mean, I just get sad for no reason at all. There can be this big group of people around me havin' a ball and laughin' and shit, and I'll still feel alone. Maybe the reality of bein' "alone in the relationship sense" ust hit me or whatever. I dunno. Maybe I have some kind of weird depression. I feel so down right now. One reason I dun wanna have class tomorrow. The snow let me down. *sigh* It sucks cuz when I feel down like this, I get so sleepy. I hardly wanna be bothered. The only person I can stand to be around is Jen. I miss Zav and Quest, they'd cheer me up for sure, but I feel like I'ma burden to them though they say it's no burden and they have no problem helping me with my problems. Why do I feel like this?? I feel awful. I remember when in high school, I used to wanna kill myself sometimes, but I was too afraid and didn't wanna feel the pain. That's prolly the only reason I'm still here now. Life sucks, atleast mine does anyway. I remember waking up and throughout the day always wondering if this would be the day I did it. I remember when I worked behind the counter at the Wawa with those big ass knives, I always had some kind of fantasy of me dying by one. I always have weird fantasies of me dying for some reason.

Am I sick??

<<<.:Corrupt:.<<>>.:Monk:.>>>

Past Adventures

Full-Time at Schinnerer! - Thursday, Apr. 06, 2006-7:53 p.m.

Oh Noez! Interviews! And a Blast From the Past - Monday, Mar. 27, 2006-9:40 p.m.

Cars Cost Too Much and a Potential Full-Time Job - Sunday, Mar. 26, 2006-3:35 p.m.

Long Time no Type! - Sunday, Mar. 05, 2006-10:52 a.m.

I Heart Anime - Wednesday, Nov. 09, 2005-5:00 p.m.

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I'm 22 and searching for a "real" job, really into anime & manga, and that's what this diary is primarily about.
Love status: Currently single, but in love with dear Sanzo (more about me?)

Loves: Simplicity, Reading, Writing, Anime, Manga
Hates: Large groups of people

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